Monster under the Bed
Monster under the Bed
by andre · November 28, 2020
22 years ago, your son cried to you about a monster under his bed. He spoke a lot after that about a new imaginary friend. Today, your son’s wedding day, you learn that the monster and imaginary friend were both the same and incredibly real. Your son’s best man.
I’m blown away. I “knew” about Ralph for years, but I never actually thought that he was real, there he is, sitting at the table on the other side of the room, as we celebrate my son’s wedding. I’m horrified. He’s exactly what you’d imaging a monster under a bed might look like; Green, multiple arm-like tentacles, a thin green tail, multiple eyes and a slimy coating. There’s only on thing out of character, one thing that doesn’t fit – he’s absolutely charming.
During the ceremony, he lumbered down the aisle, knocking over plants and bumping into everyone, but no one seemed to care. Other than his horrifying appearance, the wedding was beautiful.
Now with the ceremony over and the party in full swing, I sit here staring. Ralph’s entertaining his entire table with stories of trips, pranks and college hijinks spent with my son. The women at the table find him adorable, and the men are absolutely glued to the stories. No one notices the slime dripping on the table or the smell of rotting flesh.
I thought that I was a tolerant person, but I just don’t understand why everyone is just not bothered by what I see in Ralph. Then I notice it at another table; After a few drinks, a woman thin green tail falls out from under her her dress, and others at her table help her to tuck it back in. Once done, the entire table turns and looks at me. I then notice other guests around the room, some with greenish skin, and some letting their multiple arms out.
What Am I missing?!? I just don’t get it. I wipe the slim off of my forehead, and wave down the waiter with three of my green arms – I need drink bad. What am I not seeing…?
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